Tuesday, October 19, 2010


 KNOW THE SYMPTOMS..... !                    
              Thank goodness there's a name for this disorder.              
              Somehow I feel better even though I have it!!                
                Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D. -                
                Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.                  
                        This is how it manifests:                          
                        I decide to water my garden.                        
                  As I turn on the hose in the driveway,                  
            I look over at my car and decide it needs washing.            
                      As I start toward the garage,                        
                  I notice mail on the porch table that                    
                  I brought up from the mail box earlier.                  
          I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.          
                      I lay my car keys on the table,                      
          put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table,            
                      and notice that the can is full.                      
                    So, I decide to put the bills back                    
                on the table and take out the garbage first.                
                            But then I think,                              
                  since I'm going to be near the mailbox                  
                    when I take out the garbage anyway,                    
                    I may as well pay the bills first.                    
                    I take my check book off the table,                    
                and see that there is only one check left.                
              My extra checks are in my desk in the office,                
                so I go inside the house to my desk where                  
                I find the can of Pepsi I'd been drinking.                
                      I'm going to look for my checks,                      
                  but first I need to push the Pepsi aside                  
                so that I don't accidentally knock it over.                
                        The Pepsi is getting warm,                        
        and I decide to put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.        
                As I head toward the kitchen with the Pepsi,                
                      a vase of flowers on the counter                      
                      catches my eye--they need water.                      
                    I put the Pepsi on the counter and                    
                      discover my reading glasses that                      
                    I've been searching for all morning.                    
                I decide I better put them back on my desk,                
                but first I'm going to water the flowers.                  
                I set the glasses back down on the counter,                
        fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote.        
                  Someone left it on the kitchen table.                    
              I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV,              
                      I'll be looking for the remote,                      
            but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table,            
          so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs,          
                    but first I'll water the flowers.                      
                    I pour some water in the flowers,                      
                but quite a bit of it spills on the floor.                
                  So, I set the remote back on the table,                  
                  get some towels and wipe up the spill.                  
                    Then, I head down the hall trying to                    
                    remember what I was planning to do.                    
                          At the end of the day:                          
                            the car isn't washed                            
                          the bills aren't paid                            
            there is a warm can of Pepsi sitting on the counter            
                    the flowers don't have enough water,                    
              there is still only 1 check in my check book,                
                          I can't find the remote,                          
                          I can't find my glasses,                          
            and I don't remember what I did with the car keys.            
                The water is still running on the driveway.                
        Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today,        
        I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all damn day,        
                          and I'm really tired.                            
                    I realize this is a serious problem,                    
                  and I'll try to get some help for it,                    
                    but first I'll check my e-mail....                    
                              Do me a favor.                              
                Forward this message to everyone you know,                
          because I don't remember who the hell I've sent it to.          
        Don't laugh -- if this isn't you yet, your day is coming!!    



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